I have VCFS and I've played the clarinet since 4th grade (I'm a recent college grad now). I'm no prodigy or anything, but I do love it and can play well. I also have a really good ear (perfect pitch). I've been told that it's crazy that I can even play the clarinet, since I had the clef palate surgery when I was 13 as well. But I still manage =] I don't know if this helped much, but it's all I can say from experience. 

I know this is an old post, so I hope it finds you!  I was poking around the internet and came upon your post.  I have a 15 year old son who is simply musically gifted.  Ok, I'm biased BUT a few years ago he asked for an electric guitar for Christmas and without lessons can play just about anything he hears on the radio by ear and with incredible precision - he does practice lots.  He has also taught himself how to play lots of songs on his key board and plays the xylophone in his high school band.  In fact, he has never been main streamed in school academically but desperately wanted to play the xylophone in band.  The band director wouldn't let him audition and I pleaded with her more than once to simply just listen to him play.  She "humored" me and listened to him bang out his favorite songs.  She has since made him lead in the percussion section of the band on more than one occasion (and of course, apologized perfusely for having little faith in him).  She doesn't give him notes to play but simply plays it for him and he learns by ear, almost immediately.  At 15 yrs old he still can't proficiently count money or even do the simplist math, but if you want to hear some really good classic rock, he's your man!  This week we are taking a 4 day trip to Washington, DC with the band.  There they plan to perform with the Navy band and take in the sites.  I couldn't be happier for him and so proud too!  Its especially nice also because my son also has struggled with a plethoral of medical conditions and depression.  He wants to badly to fit in and be normal.  In this arena, he is just one of the band.  :)