I'm the mother of an autistic daughter.

I guess I'm mostly just looking for other parents or autistic adults to swap ideas with. I've pretty much given up on finding any place for my daughter to go for socializing, as the very idea of meeting other people seems to make her freeze. I work nights so I can be home in the daytime, but the end result is that I'm nearly always sleep-deprived and useless! My daughter, Katie, watches video music virtually all day every day, and has no friends other than myself, her sister and our next door neighbors, who have no children. My husband passed away in 2007, so I'm Katie's whole life. If I were independently wealthy, that would be okay. I'd travel the world, and she would be my traveling companion. Unfortunately, here I am at work. Sorry, I should be grateful to have fulltime work in this economy.

Hi again

Yeah...you are in a tough situation.  But you know...sometimes people with autism do not want that much social activity.  Would your daughter ever be interested in an on-line support group?  I have some friends with autism who run some groups and I could share the links if you are interested.

What would be the best case scenario that you would want to see?  Does your daughter have any sort of case worker? 

It does seem to get harder when the kids get older and reach adulthood...there is just less and less for them. 

Keep talking to us...I will try to tell you about any resources that I know about.

Katie is considered to be high functioning, as far as autism goes, but that doesn't mean she actually does much that is functional. She always has had learning disabilities and had to have physical therapy as an infant in order to learn to walk. She also was able to learn to talk with speech therapy. And even though she had been around other people all day every day since infancy, she had never learned to socialize, and actually was held back to repeat kindergarten. She went as far as 10th grade in special ed. So far, she has no interest whatsoever in learning to use a computer, drive a car, or even to move out on her own. She reads and comprehends adult level books, but puts a toy dog on the kitchen counter for protection when I'm not home. She's a fascinating mix of intelligent and innocent.

Hi, Quinn! Katie had a good day today, but all I have to do whenever she is upset about anything is make some chocolate pudding, and her bad mood evaporates. This is not the right way to deal with her frustrations, I know, but what is the right way to deal with MY frustrations? That's the guilt I'm feeling today, but it's really just the easy way out of situations that I am too tired to deal with. I'm sure by now she's an expert at manipulating me, because I usually preach about healthy diet.But see? throwing a tantrum gets her chocolate,followed by a bright, sunny mood. She has taught ME how to behave. Or else! Today she ate the whole 2 cups of pudding...sigh. Is it really my fault?

Hello there. Unfortunately as much as I hate to say it, yes it is your fault. If you keep on giving somebod the same thing for every time they start to cry, then that is what they are going to expect each time they cry. In the long run I think that you will be really upset and no body wins; because you give her what she want's to give her chocolate pudding when she cries, but then in the future she will be fat and she will then be upset about that. If she is not upset by her getting fat, then you most certainly will. Maybe what you should do is watch a movie together, but something that is educational and fun at the same time or just spend some time with her.