10 Tips for Talking to Your Child's Teacher

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by Eileen Bailey
Tuesday, March 09, 2010

When your child has special needs, no matter whether learning disabilities, emotional disorders or physical disabilities are present, chances are you will need to meet with your child's teacher on a regular basis. These meeting can seem intimidating and emotional to many parents. Keeping cool and remaining focused can mean the difference between a productive and an unproductive meeting.

The following are ten tips for parents when meeting with your child's teacher:

Request a meeting either before or after school hours. Teachers are often busy during the day, even when they have free periods. This may be a time teachers catch up on grading papers, check homework assignments or answer emails from other parents. When meeting with a teacher you want to make sure you will have uninterrupted time, scheduling meetings either before students come in or after all students have left for the day can allow the teacher to give you undivided attention.

If you have concerns, ask for a meeting right away instead of waiting until the next scheduled parent-teacher conference. Problems in school tend to snowball when left alone or not properly addressed. As soon as you feel there is a situation that should be addressed, contact the teacher and request a meeting. Most of the time, teachers are more than happy to speak with you and look for solutions before the situation becomes a major problem.

Understand the reasons you are requesting a meeting. If there is a specific concern, then the purpose of the meeting is to address the concern and brainstorm different solutions. If the meeting is for general academic or behavioral problems, the meeting is to develop strategies that can be employed, both at school and at home to help the child. Knowing exactly why you want a meeting can help you better focus on finding solutions.

Prepare the teacher before the meeting. You may want to send a note, an email or have a brief telephone conversation with the teacher outlining your concerns. This will give the teacher the opportunity to gather information or observe the situation before meeting with you. You will end up with a more focused meeting if both parties are prepared.

Prepare for the meeting. Talk with your child before the meeting to find out his or her thoughts about what is going on. If the problem is academic, gather up samples of homework or schoolwork to help explain why you are concerned. If the problem is more of a behavioral problem, ask your child what is going on, why he or she is behaving in a certain way and if there are underlying problems going on (someone making fun of him or her, feeling lonely or out of place, not understanding the school work).

Make a list of questions. It is easy to forget all the things you want to discuss with the teacher. Having a list of questions or concerns written down will help you stay focused and get through all of your questions. There is nothing so annoying as to get home and say, "Oh, that's what else I wanted to ask!" You may want to start your list and keep it somewhere where you can quickly add additional questions as you think of them.