how can I be most helpful?

I find that my son is a very outward person. I often say, 'you never have to wonder what he is up to'... although I really don't think that is totally true. I think he feels many frustrations at times that he has difficulty expressing. I try to teach him to be very open with his feelings to the right people... me, his father and a few older friends who have his best interest in mind. I like for him to have other friends so if he feels frustrated with us he can express it without being intimidated.

I think children like this need lots of patience and gentle guidance on how to relate to other people. You can not tire of telling them something over and over. Not in a condescending, "I've told you SO many times" way. But as if you are building on something you want to last. So each layer of building material is fresh and new. THEY may act as if you are nagging them. But, I find if I just make it clear, 'I am not talking about yesterday, but just this situation we are facing', it is very helpful.

These children face exasperated people over and over who do not understand they are dealing with a particular problem. My own husband's brothers say, "I can't tell there is anything wrong with your boy." That may seem like a compliment, but what they mean is he is not really listening or he just wants to fool around when there is work to be done, he lacks care, etc.

We have to be his advocate. It is difficult at times because we do want him to learn to receive help from others and relate to others with confidence. But, it is a long road. However, having patience as an advocate with those who don't understand pays off. You just have to keep making yourself clear, both with the child and with those who do not readily understand the child's condition.

 I am not a doctor, but personally, I would not be too concerned about his obsession with cartoons. It may be something he has found he is very good at. I would direct it in a positive way, being creative in ways he could use it. Make cartoon characters who say little math rhymes or ones that tell a story... maybe he could use his skill in a school newspaper or making books for younger children. This may actually prove to be a wonderful and useful past time for him that could even develop into something good.

There is a book called DRAW SQUAD by Mark Kitsler that you can order on Amazon books for him that may inspire him. It is really silly drawings, but the concepts will make him excell. Mark also has a web site. Perhaps that is the way you can get involved in an extra-curricular way, by 'fanning the flame' for him to succeed in what he is good at and will enjoy doing in the future.

These are only thoughts. But, I am definitely aroused to help others who want to strengthen these children.

Thank you for caring.

     I'm glad to see a teacher willing to take time to understand her students! I've bent over backwards to aid my sons teachers and the school, yet I met alot of resistance. They had, "there is nothing wrong with him attitude" and for as much as I tried to aid them with educating my son it seemed hopeless. But now the state has stepped in and have redirected their attitude towards my son.

     Unfortunatley there are many unknowns about children with VCFS because every case is so unquie. Someone you might want to chat with is Val, she has a profile on this site. Not only does her son have VCFS but she is a school teacher too. So she may help you in what it is you seek.

     I can relate to how that child is very affectionate, because my son is very much that way. He was with out a mother at the age of 2 and any woman willing to show him any affection he clings too.

     One thing you might want to consider with your student with VCFS is that they seem to shut down when their brain gets overloaded with information or they cant process the information given to them. So you might want to simplify the task assigned to him and see how he responds.

     How long have the parents known the child had VCFS? Also does he attend special reading classes, math classes and get other therapies?

     One thing I have found to help my son stimulate his brain is music. Ive noticed he has a special liking to music and he has been taking piano lessons off and on for 3 years and it has helped stimulate his brain in learning. The teachers and I have seen a significant improvement in my son and his ability to process information better without him getting fustrated or shutting down on us.

   Keep up with your efforts and I praise you for taking that extra step for your student. God Bless and if there is anything you would like to ask by all means please do so.