Bullying

Oh, I hear you!  We must have used the phrase 'treat others the way you want to be treated' thousands of times. ( It's interesting that what Christians call the Golden Rule is also part of at least 10 major religions....it IS the basis of our very humanity, IMHO.)

 

The world is getting used to people in wheelchairs, etc., but having any kind of invisible / cognitive disability is terrible. The expectations of others are often too/so high, so the slower learning kids keep getting reminded that they aren't as 'smart'/good.

 

Perhaps because our kids have had so much 'one on one' support since they were young HAS made them more vulnerable, softer, dependent......but in that respect, it's not like we could have done too much differently, anyway!!

 

The hardest lesson I've had to teach is that just because other guys  greet you with a wide smile, 'high five' and 'hey buddy' our kids, does NOT necessarily mean they are really friends.  Sadly, they are often manipulative creeps who prey on others' vulnerabilities.

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Dear Sally,

 

I understand the pain etc that Quinn had regarding Bullying. As mentioned in a blog to Quinn, I wrote a book on my trials and tribulation etc 5 years ago  VCFS - Footprints of Hope. In the book, I mentioned that I was bullied consistantly at primary and secondary school. My problems are quite complex in nature - that is due to the way I look and also due to my speaking problems - born with a cleft palate, repaired twice. I was in a number of fights at school,and was not part of the various groups that were at the school. I was more or less a loner.

 

The worse part about the bullying, was that it also ventured into the work force. I was called various names due to the way I look and even one manager said that if he looked like me, that he would commit suicide. That was only 11 years ago. In 1969, I attempted suicide due to the consistant bullying etc. Unlike, Quinn, my parents and sister did not understand or accept the issues I was facing. Also, not knowing that I had VCFS and my problems were due to syndrome, also played an important part in my upbringing. My father would have nothing to do with me etc due to my problems.

 

Fortunately, these days, the work place has become more tolerant with people with various disabilities. Not just that, I am quite happy to advise that my problems are due to having VCFS (I was not diagnosed until the age of 43, I am now 59).

 

Raymond

Adelaide Australia

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   Hi, Sally Quinn, I just got on this site. You are welcome to read my blogs as well.

Since I was diagnosed not till the age of 18 with VCFS, I did have the same troubles as Quinn did. I do however suggest that if quinn ever wants to try this is martial arts. My mom started me in martial arts when I was 8 years old. I recently got into studying brazilian jiujitsu and Muay Thai Kickboxing. I think it is great, because it will help your son with self-confidence, discipline, and honor. Hope all is well.

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I feel ya, I only wish that type of program was around with me, I went threw the same even though I didn't know what I had in highschool or anytype of school, I got constantly beat up everday or verbally abused, I could tell I was different from the other kids but could not figure out why I was such an easy target, the only reason why it slowed and eventually stoped, was because in my sophmore year of highschool, I joined a swimteam in a different town where people didn't know me to much, made some friends without the influance of others that were picking on me(it was so hard to make friends in my school because of those kids), got bigger threw the swimming and gym, gained a whole lot more confedance in my self and hate to say although I don't approve of violence unless it's absolutly necessary try to avoid at all costs, however I started fighting back stood my ground, and eventually people saw that I wasn't a push over anymore but it's sad that it had to revert to that I would have rather had peoplp understand where I was coming from why I was so different and have the other kids get taught better morales because they obviously wasn't getting it at school or at home.
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