Embracing my ADD at 41yrs old....

Related: ADDADHD

by DavisDeb
Friday, April 03, 2009

I am a 41yr old woman.

I have suffered with ADD all of my life. My story is not unlike all the other stories that are written about ADD. I STRUGGLED through school. Not just high school, I do not recall a grade I did not feel degrated and unexcepted in because of my processing issues. I had trouble keeping friendships and jobs. It was a miricle I graduated, but I did...barely.

I got married right out of high school and right away had 2 children. My 20's stunk, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Why I could not keep friendships, was I to clingy? Was I oversensitive? Insecure? Why was I so weird?.......Don't even get me started with my budgeting the household finances...lol...my poor husband, God bless him for his patience with me. I bounced so many checks in the begining. I NEVER wrote down my transactions, I would just call the bank for the balance that day and check off what checks had cleared the day before so I knew what I could spend! I would have the bills stamped and all I needed to do was take them to the mailbox and I would forget to and the next thing I knew the power company was at my door to shut off the electricity! Not  good. My housekeeping was as equally disfunctional.

When did things change?

My son was in 2nd grade. My husband and I had noticed something wasn't "right" with him but we couldn't quite figure out what it was. He was very social and so engaging but couldn't keep friends. He wouldn't finish his school work but the teacher would allow him to pass because he was "such a great little boy". Long story short, we had him tested and the Dr. said he has severe ADD. That started my life! I recognized so much about myself in his diagnosis, finally! There is a name for what I have and other people can relate....from that day on, I decided to embrace the gifts of having ADD and run with it so my son wouldn't have to struggle in the same ways I had. As most of you know, most ADD sufferers are not strong readers; my attention can not stay focused through to many sentences so I buy books on tape and play them over and over. I watched Oprah one day when Steadman Graham was promoting one of his books on becoming successful and on that show he detailed common traits that make successful people successful. The one that stuck out was setting goals that are attainable and once the goals were reached set new ones never sitting idol! I could do that...and so it started. Slowly, Slowly as I set goals on housekeeping and budgeting and relationships pulling from my wonderful creative way of thinking, things have turned around. My 20's were a huge struggle with self created chaos and disorganization. My 30's were filled with getting organized as I have entered my 40's life is great! I feel so blessed to have ADD, it has been so worth the struggle.

I thankfully stayed married to the same man for so far 21.5 years we have 3 birth children, 5 adopted special needs children and 1 fosterchild. It is because of my ADD I can take care of my extremely organized and clean home, make sure everychild is cared for with attention and detail to their individual needs and have a social life to boot! ADD allows me to be a FANTASTIC MULTI TASKER! I can get done 3 times the things my typical thinking friends can get done. When they are curled up with a good book, I am painting my family room or designing the backdrop for the school dance pictures with a great book on tape playing in the background.  I am no longer the insecure woman I had been, I am confident and do not view my ADD as a disability at all, I am so glad I have it. It has allowed me to take in and rescue children I may not have been able to without living through the struggles I endured as a child with ADD. I am currently running in the Mrs. Washington pageant promoting the awareness of early childhood mental illnesses.