Worried about your Learning Disabled Child's Future? Focus on Functional Skills

Okay, I'll go first!  In looking at your lists, I realized that my adult son still cannot master some of the things in the "child" sections - he still needs to be reminded of a lot of things.  It's not that he doesn't know how to do them, he just "forgets" and some of them are part of just taking care of his physical well-being.  So, I worry about what's going to happen when we're not around.  And, frankly, I get worn out from what amounts to trying to remember everything for him.

My son does have a full-time job, for which I am very thankful.  But.....as an example, today is the last day to enroll for benefits for next year.  Even though I kept asking him for the last two months if he'd gotten any information about it, he kept saying no.  I finally asked his job coach about it, who found out that they'd all be sent emails about it last month.  Well, it was too late for the county to decide if it's more cost effective to pay his health care premiums for the employer-provided insurance or to keep him on Medicare because we ran out of time.  Last night, I told him to be sure that he checks today to see if he has to re-enroll for dental insurance, or if he automatically gets what he's had this year and also, to call me.  I still haven't heard from him, he tends to not leave his cell phone on, he doesn't answer his office phone and the email address he gave me for his work isn't correct; he "forgets" to send me an email for work so I can get the correct address.

These are all things that most of us think are no big deal to take care of, but it gets absolutely overwhelming at times, and frustrating to not only manage your own affairs, but to see no end to helping your adult child manage theirs.  Now that I'm writing about it, I guess it bothers me more than I realized.  Yes, we're fortunate that he's high functioning and can live on his own, with some assistance, but there are a million little details involved in that!  I guess there's still a lot I have to learn about providing for his future so that he doesn't get lost between the cracks.  Sorry if this sounds too negative, but I guess it's reality for a lot of parents.

I never realized, or rather, think about how many motions we go through each day in order to live and communicate, how we organize our approach to simple things like shopping or dealing with any other person socially or professionally.

I think teaching how to ask for help if all else fails can turn a failure into success. We can get taken too, but I think most people are willing to help once they understand where a person is coming from and why. Confusion breeds a lot of emotions, most are not good.

Such a list you've built! Seems so daunting, where to begin and how. But without these functional skills, there can only be dependence on another for the rest of our lives and in some cases, that will be necessary. So, it is true that our children will outlive us and need to given as much of a functioning life as we can teach. We owe them that.