How I Taught Max to Trick or Treat

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by Merely Me
Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Halloween is coming!  It really is one of my favorite holidays.  You get to see all the little kids dressed up and watch spooky movies and of course there is all the candy.  My son, Max, shares my passion for Halloween and begins thinking about it in mid August.  He is already talking about going to the Farmer's market by then and wanting to carve a pumpkin.  If he can't find a pumpkin he wants to make jack-o-lanterns out of any vegetable including tomatoes or cucumbers which can get a little messy. 

Max loves Halloween so much that sometimes he will insist upon wearing his costume to bed.  Most years he loves being Spiderman.  It is hard to believe that there was a time when Max didn't understand about Halloween or about holidays in general.  It took some years of experience before he "got" it.

As a matter of fact I had to teach Max how to trick or treat. 

It is a rather bizarre ritual we have for children to go door to door one night out of the year and ask for candy by saying, "trick or treat."  For more than several years Max had no idea why we were doing this.  We would stand there, he would get the knocking on the door part, and then when the person opened the door he would walk right in.  I mean, isn't this what one usually does when you go and knock on someone's door?  They usually invite you in.  So when they gave him candy he wasn't sure what to make of it. 

And then there are the variations of responses one might get while trick or treating.  Some people leave their lights out and don't answer the door.  My son didn't understand that for the longest time and did not know to avoid the dark houses.  Other houses have the household pets come to the door, with charging yelping terriers or even deep throated Dobermans.  Not to mention some adults dress up in ghoulish attire and come to the door to give a scare.  Trick or treating is not for the faint of heart!

Then there is the script one has to say in order to get the treats.  Knock on door or ring doorbell, yell out "Trick or Treat" and open your bag or hold your pumpkin bucket out.  Wait for the treat and say, "Thank you."  But what if there if the person has a bowl and tells you just to pick out some candy?  Should you take one, two, or three pieces?  Or maybe all?  How does a kid know what to do? 

For my child who has autism and learning disabilities, he didn't know what to do.  So we used Carol Gray's social stories to teach my son how to trick or treat.  Carol Gray is a former special educator who developed a method of teaching children with special needs about the rules and rituals of social situations.  Many children, especially those on the autism spectrum, respond well to visual cues.  Social stories provide the child with visual instructions of what they can expect during a social situation.  There are social stories for everything from going to see the dentist to how to start a conversation.  We created our own social story for trick or treating for Max although there are some you can print out which are already made such as this Halloween social story for trick or treating and going to a Halloween party.